Did You Pray?

"Lord, I am sorry for all the times I carried burdens I didn’t have to, all because I neglected to bring them to You in prayer. Open my eyes and my heart, and help me see how much You love me and how much You care about every little concern of mine. Whenever I am tempted to shoulder my burdens alone, please remind me to turn to You in prayer and then surround me with Your perfect healing peace." - A repost.

My uncle, who works as a Christian Commitments Specialist at World Vision International reposted the above (via FB) from his good friend, a fellow worker I suppose. My uncle is of my age and we grew up together, went to the same church, his dad was our Pastor for quite some time. His mom and dad, up to now are active workers of God.

My cousins and my young aunts and uncles mostly went to Febias Bible College. They studied (study) Theology, minor in Music, Voice, Evangelism, etc... I feel sad because I was with them planning our future eduction at the Bible school. I know my mom kind of hoped I could have gone there.

My sister, the youngest, an UPCAT passer and is currently enrolled in UST Conservatory of Music had been constantly enticed to shift courses and move to Febias instead, but her heart didn't belong there (neither in UP), although remaining a faithful servant of God, via the Music Ministry. This has been fervently prayed for.

Every single decision affecting our family has been prayed for, knowing that my mother is a prayerful woman and my father, a prayer warrior himself. The ones that failed are the decisions we made ourselves. Having read the reposted message (quoted above) tore me apart knowing that what I considered failure were fruits of my arrogance.

I know I have a standing desire to work for the Lord yet my overconfidence on my Math prowess led me towards a different direction -- "I would be rich someday if I did this right" that's what I used to say. Since my motivation wasn't based on my heart's desire, reality took a toll on me --- I left my course, even realized I wasn't that uber excellent in Math, I was average, perhaps my classmates weren't that good so I excelled.

At that time, I was fixated in taking up English so I took it (English, Letters). I thought someday, I will be writing the speech our president is reading. Moreso, I once dreamt of becoming the President --- my collection of voice tapes when I was a toddler proved so. And again, having not prayed for it led me some other way, I landed to a course that's fun yet I never liked (took it because it's the only course where my units are credited), Psychology. As I studied it (especially, Pseudo-psychology), I know if one isn't a believer, his/her faith could be swayed easily. I graduated with flying colors, had good grades in fact but I took it because I've got nothing else to take.

And I continue to wonder, what would have happened had I prayed for that? If I didn't go my own way -- if I wasn't too confident deciding alone...

Philippians 4:6-7

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.