Rant. Because I Couldn't in Real Life

It was a distorted day for me. Well yesterday wasn’t a blast either. You know the feeling of getting claustrophobic when you're getting closer to someone and you feel burdened by the supposed perks of it? I am not a typical friend and most of the people I have kept for ages share the same personality, hence, the long lasting friendship.

1. I am not the kind of friend who responds on routine and scheduled tasks

2. I am not the kind of friend who posts cryptic messages on a friend's wall just because… although I see to it that I greet everyone on Christmas and on their birthdays and yes, I drop them hi – hello messages at times

3. I don’t like being asked, "Do you want to see my new skirt?" --- Because in fact, I don't. I don’t really care. If I am interested, I'd ask for sure

4. I don’t like being asked rhetorically if I want to have coffee and even if I said I don’t, I am expected to join anyhow

5. I don’t like being IM-ed a lot. Unless you're someone from the other side of the world, but if you're in front of me, I just get suffocated

6. I don’t like assigned tasks like:

a. Having to always call the restaurant when ordering for lunch or breakfast

b. Having to do the AVPs on almost all occasions

c. Having to facilitate the catering

d. Having to collect signatures for the guestbook or photo dedications

I mean I could do all these occasionally, but not as a permanent assignment. Because what if I died? Wouldn’t you ever call the restaurant to order food? Won't there be any avps? No catering, no guest books????

So why the blog? Well I just want to say things I want to say aloud but couldn’t because I am afraid to hurt people's feelings. Although I am trying my best to be as plastic as I could, my face betrays my too hard attempt to conceal my irritation. I know I may have hurt other's feelings because of my facial revelation and I am sorry --- but clingy behavior just doesn’t add up. I mean I don’t understand it when others easily promote you to being their friend worse, best friend, when in your context, they are but plain acquaintances. Haisst! Amy Farrah Fowler in the making!!!

Despite my being easily suffocated, it is for sure that in times of need, I mean "real" non-coffee emergency need, I do not leave friends, I listen, I stay, I come to the rescue… sometimes, I even give a hug *grins* I am so glad my friends are almost as "claustrophobic" as I am in terms of friendship. We don’t suffocate one other with tiny marshmallow drops on a hot coco.

Did You Pray?

"Lord, I am sorry for all the times I carried burdens I didn’t have to, all because I neglected to bring them to You in prayer. Open my eyes and my heart, and help me see how much You love me and how much You care about every little concern of mine. Whenever I am tempted to shoulder my burdens alone, please remind me to turn to You in prayer and then surround me with Your perfect healing peace." - A repost.

My uncle, who works as a Christian Commitments Specialist at World Vision International reposted the above (via FB) from his good friend, a fellow worker I suppose. My uncle is of my age and we grew up together, went to the same church, his dad was our Pastor for quite some time. His mom and dad, up to now are active workers of God.

My cousins and my young aunts and uncles mostly went to Febias Bible College. They studied (study) Theology, minor in Music, Voice, Evangelism, etc... I feel sad because I was with them planning our future eduction at the Bible school. I know my mom kind of hoped I could have gone there.

My sister, the youngest, an UPCAT passer and is currently enrolled in UST Conservatory of Music had been constantly enticed to shift courses and move to Febias instead, but her heart didn't belong there (neither in UP), although remaining a faithful servant of God, via the Music Ministry. This has been fervently prayed for.

Every single decision affecting our family has been prayed for, knowing that my mother is a prayerful woman and my father, a prayer warrior himself. The ones that failed are the decisions we made ourselves. Having read the reposted message (quoted above) tore me apart knowing that what I considered failure were fruits of my arrogance.

I know I have a standing desire to work for the Lord yet my overconfidence on my Math prowess led me towards a different direction -- "I would be rich someday if I did this right" that's what I used to say. Since my motivation wasn't based on my heart's desire, reality took a toll on me --- I left my course, even realized I wasn't that uber excellent in Math, I was average, perhaps my classmates weren't that good so I excelled.

At that time, I was fixated in taking up English so I took it (English, Letters). I thought someday, I will be writing the speech our president is reading. Moreso, I once dreamt of becoming the President --- my collection of voice tapes when I was a toddler proved so. And again, having not prayed for it led me some other way, I landed to a course that's fun yet I never liked (took it because it's the only course where my units are credited), Psychology. As I studied it (especially, Pseudo-psychology), I know if one isn't a believer, his/her faith could be swayed easily. I graduated with flying colors, had good grades in fact but I took it because I've got nothing else to take.

And I continue to wonder, what would have happened had I prayed for that? If I didn't go my own way -- if I wasn't too confident deciding alone...

Philippians 4:6-7

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Blog Tools

I am not free anymore! I wanted to categorize my blogs ever since the world began but I didn’t even attempt to try. I need to dedicate topics that would sort of limit myself when it comes to the scope of my writings.

Before, I just felt like skipping showbiz blogs but I say, "what a hypocrite am I?" I know I love reading showbiz chikkas be it local or from Hollywood. I am committed though to cutting off gossips and the unnecessaries from my life hence the categorization. I am still of course blogging about silly things but at least, it should fall into something.

I don’t mean to blog daily! Hello hardship! But at least, I intend to have control on my keyboard like for example, today's Wednesday and I thought of writing about fashion – oh well I am sorry because it's Twitter Wednesday, I should derive my post from Twitter – but I can of course steal my way in, and find a Twitter source linking to the fashion topic I desire. So the idea is, I cannot blog just because… it has to be within the assigned category… if I feel like writing and it doesn’t suit the day, i.e. Gastro Saturday and I want to blog about a dress or something, nope, I don’t think so, save some room for later and bear the itch!

So here are the general topics I've selected and their scope:

• Gastronomic Saturday (Anything edible that you wanted to review, diss', praise, places to recommend, photos of "dine-ins and take outs")
• Lord's Day Sunday (Posts about God and the things He's done for us. A testimony of the past day/week/month/year, songs, movies related to God)
• Manic Monday (Harebrained and crazy ideas, rants, experiences)
• Fab Tuesday (Fashion, beauty, wellness, things related to being sexy and fabulous)
• Twitter Wednesday (Something like the you tweet, I blog posts that I've done in the past. Post derived from Twitter)
• Recap Thursday (Recap of recent events. Recent movie seen, song heard, book read, food eaten, etc. This serves as a review tool as well)
• Freedom Friday (Anything! This is the day when I can post anything I've been longing to post in the last week but couldn’t because it didn’t fall into a category! This is my time to shine!)

 

 

and of course I forgot to write a closing... lol... I guess I was just tired.... (palusot?)

Lord's Day Sunday: God's Gift is Our Gift

The past week was a blur of bad things. The fact that it was my birthday week did not help. I was just blessed that day by the outpouring greetings and gifts I received! I don’t know why I always get lots of gifts! Hahaha! I love the people around me! Inasmuch as I claim that material things aren’t too important for me, I remain fascinated by them and I still feel giddy about them! Thanks friends!


I told myself I will meditate more this week, to speak to God, ponder on things and free my heart from the burdens I am feeling so to achieve inner peace. I collected some Gospel songs that I want to listen for today and I didn’t realize how many gigs I've got. It must be slowing down my PC! :D Thankfully the IT gave me more memory (or at least that's what he said).

Incidentally, one of the tearjerking songs is playing right now, "Lead Me to the Cross," I feel sad whenever I envision what has happened to Jesus when he is about to be crucified, I still cannot take how it happened (although I know it's written). My heart cannot bear the pain He's experienced… These songs were made for us to appreciate day by day, God's wonderful present for us… something more than material things, something you cannot quantify – His Son, Jesus.

It's so wonderful how songs make us flashback to what's happened during His time right? I am such a cry baby! With that, I am listing down around 20 songs that I find pacifying esp. at times that I feel what I feel right now…

1. None but Jesus

2. Worthy is the Lamb

3. Open the Eyes of My Heart (Lord)

4. Lord of lords

5. Spirit Touch Your Church

6. Holy Spirit Rain Down

7. Lead Me to the Cross

8. Glory

9. Heart of Worship

10. Center of My Life

11. One Way

12. Solution

13. My Redeemer Lives

14. Touching Heaven Changing Earth

15. Welcome in this Place

16. Desert Song

17. Mighty to Save

18. Savior King

19. Jesus, What a Beautiful Name

20. Potter's Hand

I know some are so old but having grown up with hymnals and songbooks, believe me, these are NEW! I feel lighter whenever I listen to these songs. Indeed God provides. His mercy endures forever!

I pray oh God that you cleanse my soul. Revive me oh Lord, for you alone can do it! I know I have sinned and you are the only one who could make me righteous in your eyes. Bless me with your protection from adversities. Make my spirit shine with your blessings so that I, too can become a blessing to others. You alone are God. – Amen.

Life could be difficult at times but in His will, everything shall become better.

Shoutout to my friend Ibyang Sanchez, who's celebrating her birthday today! More blessings and more love!

And to Leona Jane, who's been part of my life for quite some time now, I really cherish you friend! God bless you more and more!

For the Joy of the Lord is My Strength

Facebook friends, I feel so overwhelmed with your greetings and thoughts. Twitterlandia didn’t fail me too, it's just wonderful! God never ceases to amaze me day by day. I never knew I've got too many people who care about me. It's always a blessing knowing you're remembered.

The night before my birthday was not so great. In fact it was rather depressing. I prayed to God that I hope to not feel this pain especially on a moment when I was anticipating happiness.  I know there could be solutions to what I am carrying but I still feel that those are temporary. My faith in God's promise is all that's left and for that, I am tightly holding on.

I celebrated my birthday with my officemates (we're 2 celebrators actually), we received 4 cakes, would you believe that? We're like Sarah Geronimo! LOL Thanks to our Support Service Officer, our Dietitian, our Social Worker, and my friend Nada! They were the ones who brought the cakes! Sarah and Ces also did an amazing breakfast celebration for me. They cooked pancit, maja blanca, chicken, and brownies! It was awesome! I loved the chicken so much! I wasn’t able to take a lot of pictures though because I was the "punong abala" hence, the inability to capture the moment. People were taking photos but I don't know if they'd ever get uploaded! You know the drill!

That's Nada giving a peace sign!

A Cake from my Office Celebration

I was able to speak with Bhenie, an old friend who I tend to seek help from whenever I am going bananas! She's always of help and I appreciate that. I received a long reply mail from Joanne too, my best friend in the world! Having received more than a paragraph from her is a world record! I feel so happy having received such a long letter! Indeed I am blessed!

My family, despite my not sticking around long, did cook pancit to celebrate my day --- Faith said she ate cake because of me, and Joy, I wonder what she did! Hahaha!

I had dinner with Kaiser in Piatto. We are having a month-long Italian spree I guess. I don’t know but since Lhen took us to Vapiano, my Italian cravings never stopped taking note that it's the cuisine that I kinda disliked for the longest time (photos are posted on fb). I wasn’t happy, for sure. But my heart is still joyful.

For the joy of the Lord is my strength. And Yes, that's my 2012 mantra!

My Neighbor's Wife, Too Good to Compare.

After watching No Other Woman, I thought I'd watch My Neighbor's Wife the next day. It was indeed a good choice having just seen the former. I don't get why reviews rave for No Other Woman, when it's obvious --- My Neighbor's Wife is far better.

THE DEPTH
There's nothing I haven't seen in No Other Woman, but in My Neighbor's Wife, we thought, after Lovi Poe and Jake Cuenca slept together, I wonder --- that's it? My husband had to check if it was near the ending na (although super obvious naman na halos kakasimula lang), having skipped the spoilers on line, I know there's a catch, although never did I imagine the catch would be that heavy.

When Dennis dropped Carla outside the school gate and the kid said that he saw Dennis Trillo, I knew he wasn't really looking into having an affair with Carla -- it's more on getting even. He loves Lovi obviously.

Although I felt sad that this movie showed the reality on how sex became so casual and easy to get. Open a bottle of scotch, get drunk, and voila! You're one hot freebie. It's a shame.

EXPOSÉ
This movie exposed the possibilites friends and co-workers are afraid to discuss, that because of too much closeness and familiarity with one another, the gates of infidelity open.

CLICHÉ
The ultimate cliche though is the fact that the girl went wayward, committed adultery that is, she gets to be punished harder. I wasn't talking about Lovi because it was Carla who had a harder punishment which was revealed in the latter part of the film. She had been alone while Jake seemed happy --- Dennis and Lovi were back together and preggy.

I loved this movie!!! (Despite my constant comments because I felt that Lovi and Jake were punished too harshly) I mean if husbands and wives intend to make the cheaters suffer for the rest of their lives, then please do the graceful thing of dismissing them immediately. They need not suffer for nothing -- if nothing can be done to win you back -- nothing must be done at all. It is not up to us to punish people.

Dennis' character was so unfair. Guys nowadays make their women work and still got the nerve to restrict them with regard to their purchase! Like they don't make enough to support their wants!! Ah, it is so frustrating!

Jake's character was a typical Don Juan, I've personally known people like Jake and probably been victimized at one point or another. They've got the perfect package of looks, charisma, and wit --- only forgetting to mention one vital thing.

I give No Other Woman 2.5 Stars and My Neighbor's Wife 4.5 :)

This is a crappy post I know, sorry I've got cramps!

No Other Woman: A 3D Review

I know it's quite late to write a review for the film No Other Woman. I knew I'd love that movie since the promo started but I resisted any synopsis online and spoilers in order to feel the first time viewing effect.

This was a good movie. Inasmuch as I kinda dislike Derek Ramsay for being a womanizer in real life, I commend his acting. He really is a good actor. Him being convincing and sincere to his lines made it all better. Anne and Cristine were great too although the latter could really improve a lot pronunciation-wise.

I love the good vs evil kind of movies. Hence, being biased about Cristine vs Anne, the wife vs the mistress. Anne was feisty and irritating. Cristine was sweet and trying. But what I liked is that the wife didn’t stay stereotyped to being naïve. Thanks to her mother portrayed by Carmi Martin who I find rather OA than effective. The meet-up setting sent a slight déjà vu. I recall how Maricel Soriano and Aga Muhlach met in A Love Story (where Derek's real life girlfriend, Angelica Panganiban played the wife), they met on the water too right? Aga had an accident and Maricel came to the rescue (being a doctor, she was an Obgyn).

The Wife's Point of View:

Well, Kaiser was definitely irritated by my side and snide comments on almost every scene. I was telling him that I think, the wife was trying too much for her undeserving husband. I mean, she knew he was philandering; instead, she was too kind. She demonstrated more effort just to win her husband back to her, solely hers.

Despite my fancying the story and the wife's character, I won't follow what the mom advised her daughter about being vigilant and feisty, because marriage (or life? or love?) is like Quiapo where there are lots of snatchers so anxious to get "the husbands" for themselves, and for that matter, her husband. I think it's an overreaction.

We, committing into marriage is equivalent to signing up for a lifetime supply of love and loyalty. It is our right and privilege. Hindi natin utang na loob sa asawa natin na paligayahin tayo at mahalin --- tungkulin natin yun bilang mga mag-asawa. Appreciation is key but to always be on the look out is like forever being unsure and living a lifetime of doubts.

If I'd see temptations around my marriage, I intend to pray for it to be gone. Efforts will be done on my side, assessment and evaluation as to where and what went wrong but to be like a hunter isn’t my thing. I owe myself some dignity that if indeed the husband is cheating, I still have some grace left in me, to keep my cool and make wise decisions.

Love is there. It doesn’t disappear overnight on both the husband and the wife. As long as you know you are a good wife, you've got nothing to prove to your philandering husbands.

Pray hard. It's only God who can resolve this, "for your cooking errors could not justify him looking for someone else" --- it's beyond that… it's character, it's weakness. Pray for strength.

The Other Woman's Point of View:

This situation is hard. No one ever imagines becoming one right? Will you include becoming a concubine/mistress in your to-do list? Is it something that you wish for?

Falling in love to someone who is already committed is one of the hardest things in the world. The feeling that you know you're doing the wrong thing and yet you couldn’t stop because it just felt so right. I think being in an affair makes everything sweet. Nothing sour, nothing salty. The guy sees to it that the girl is treated like a princess, the girl considers him her prince! Since every moment is a "stolen moment" --- even a single millisecond is seized. How else can one go wrong?

But the thing is, everything gets BITTER when the wife busts them off. The girl goes gaga the guy gets scared. Why hello! He's the one who's got something to lose – A wife, kids perhaps.

The Philanderer's Point of View:

He loves the wife; he gets excited by the mistress. He falls in love with the mistress. The guy loves them both!

Makes promises to the wife – breaking them.
Makes promises to the mistress – breaking it them too.
Scheduling problems. Telephone communication glitches.
Silly stories.

But when the wife catches him cheating, he most of the time chooses the wife. Sad story for mistresses eh?

*** What's sad is that the wife accepts him with arms wide open. So happy like she's won a prize. Like he's a trophy worth getting proud of.

Oh well.